


but, fuck, it is so hard

by hyacinthis



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Android Hank Anderson, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Porn, Angst with a Happy Ending, D:BH reverse au, D:Bh, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hannor, Human Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, NSFW, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Smut, d: bh reverse au, detroit: become human reverse au, hankcon - Freeform, reverse au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:25:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16146818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyacinthis/pseuds/hyacinthis
Summary: He convinces himself that he’s never going to get Hank’s love and affection again. It’s scary and it eats away at Connor. It’s how depression works, he knows this. He’s known it for a long time. But, he’s so scared that one day he’s going to be back where he started.Alone and full of self hatred.





	but, fuck, it is so hard

**Author's Note:**

> i based this off of a post on tumblr i saw back in like,,,,, i wanna say late july/early august but i don’t remember who the person was or what their url is!!! so, if any of you guys know who i might be talking abt if you wouldn’t mind lmk in the comments, i’d rly appreciate it!!!

Touch is such a divine feeling. It’s something Connor doesn’t give himself enough of. Rather, he doesn’t allow himself enough of it. After his parents’ death, he was never given much affection. It was something foreign to him. 

Until Hank had been assigned to him.

Connor was hesitant about the android and to say it took him a while to warm up to him would be an understatement. But once he was comfortable, their bond grew and Connor’s affection for him spread like a wildfire. He quickly became well acquainted with Hank’s gentle affections. Soft touches, warm kisses, and tender embraces. Connor was in love with Hank and the love he brought with him. 

Acclimating to affection was odd. After years of being without it combined with years of isolation, deep depression, and an alcohol problem, Connor had almost convinced himself he wasn’t worthy of love and affection. It was something he had only voiced to Hank once or twice, but it was something he thought about practically daily.

The sex was amazing. Connor had never felt anything so nice in his life. Regardless of if it was rough or gentle, it was still something that Connor adores, something he couldn’t live without. 

But, sometimes they got busy with cases which left them little time for love making. Connor didn’t mind, they usually both came home too exhausted to even think about it. But, years of isolation weren’t Connor’s friends and often it came back to bite him.

Dinner and drinks that night had quickly escalated to an impromptu makeout session, Connor pressed against the kitchen wall. The impromptu makeout session had then escalated into Connor whispering into Hank’s ear,

“Why don’t we take this back to the bedroom?”

So Connor is laying back on the bed, eyes fluttering as Hank presses kisses down his exposed chest. His hands rest on the brunette’s hips as he pauses to suck a hickey beneath his collar bone. He unbuckles his belt and unbuttons his pants, pausing to paw at him through his jeans. Connor rolls his hips up towards the touch, whining quietly.

Hank yanks his pants down, then does the same with his underwear. Connor kicks them off onto the ground, then looks up at Hank expectantly. The android reaches up and gently strokes the side of Connor’s face.

“Turn over for me,” he says gently. “Ass in the air, please.”

Connor does as told, lazily rolls over onto his stomach and lifts his ass into the air. Hank kneels on the bed behind him, spreading his cheeks then leaning forward and licking a stripe up his hole. Connor shivers and presses his face into the sheets, gasping as Hank starts to eat him out.

Hank works him open slowly with his tongue, then gently starts to press fingers into him alongside it. Connor squirms, biting down on his lower lip as his cock twitches. He involuntarily lets out a whine and Hank smiles. He curls his fingers inside of him and Connor’s leg twitches.

He pulls his mouth away from him and instead focuses on preparing him. He slips a third finger inside of him and starts to thrust, curling his fingers in search of that sweet spot. When he hits it, Connor cries out and squirms. Hank spreads his fingers a bit before leaning over to the bedside table, pulling a bottle of lube from the drawer.

He pulls his fingers out of the brunette and lubes around his hole. He lubes himself up then positions himself at Connor’s entrance. Connor swallows, then nods his head, giving him the okay.

Hank thrusts in so hard that Connor sees stars. He lets out a moan that’s almost embarrassingly loud and grips the sheets. Hank begins to thrust roughly into him, enjoying the way Connor moans and whimpers with each one.

“Does that feel good?” He asks.

“Yes!” Connor gasps, turning his head in attempt to look back at him. “God, yes.”

Hank continues to thrust into him, one hand on his hip, the other reaching forward to rest at the base of Connor’s neck. He lets out a quiet grunt and shifts positions slightly, watching Connor’s legs twitch as he starts to hit the sweet spot.

It feels good to feel good. It feels good to be wanted. It’s a feeling that Connor forgets about. That warm feeling he gets in his chest when Hank kisses him or asks him if he’s eaten or fucks him or makes sure that he gets enough sleep at night. He forgets how nice it feels and how much it means to him.

He gasps as Hank pushes his face into the mattress and starts to thrust harder. Connor’s eyes flutter and he lets out a long string of moans. His thighs shake and he pushes himself back towards the android. Hank pulls his hand from Connor’s hip and slaps his ass, the man crying out in response.

“Don’t stop,” Connor gasps, voice muffled by the sheets. “God, _please_ don’t stop.”

Hank pushes himself all the way in, until his dick is completely sheathed by Connor. He holds it there, rocking to continue stimulating Connor. Connor squirms, whines, and moans. His toes curl and his eyes flutter. Hank is so _deep_. And it just feels _so good_.

“Hank!” He moans into the sheets, gripping at them so hard his knuckles start to turn white. “Fuck, Hank!”

Hank begins his rough thrusting again, leaning over Connor and wrapping one arm around his middle. Connor pushes back into his thrusts, craving that _full_ feeling. Hank presses kisses in between Connor’s shoulder blades, adoring the noises he’s making under him.

It’s a wonderful feeling to be desired. Hank loves him, Hank _lusts_ for him. He looks at Connor and sees someone worthy of happiness and love and pleasure. It’s something Connor doesn’t quite understand, but he appreciates it nonetheless.

Connor doesn’t see that. He looks at himself in the mirror and he hates himself so much that it makes him sick. For so long, he had conditioned himself into believing that he wasn’t worthy of good things. Hank changed that, but deep down some part of Connor still believes that.

When neither of them have time for sex because cases are too busy, Connor convinces himself that it’s because he doesn’t deserve it. He convinces himself that he’s never going to get Hank’s love and affection again. It’s scary and it eats away at Connor. It’s how depression works, he knows this. He’s known it for a long time. But, he’s so scared that one day he’s going to be back where he started.

Alone and full of self hatred.

So, when neither of them have time to have sex and they go for a month, sometimes more, without it, Connor gets scared. Then it happens and they’re both enjoying it and Connor is just so relieved. He remembers that Hank loves him and he remembers that he deserves good things. But, sometimes, it’s hard for him to remember.

Connor comes, gasping and shuddering. He bucks his hips and moans, his breath caught in his throat. Hank isn’t far behind him and finishes inside of the brunette. It isn’t until Connor has come down from his post orgasm high that he realizes his breaths are coming out in short puffs and he’s shuddering and… He’s crying.

Hank rests a gentle hand on his back, concern flooding his face. 

“Was I too rough?” He asks.

“No.” Connor whimpers. “No, you were wonderful, I just…” 

He stops and rolls over, holding his arms out towards the android. Hank gives him a sympathetic smile and lays down next to him. He pulls Connor close and cards his fingers through his hair. Things get difficult for Connor, he understands. 

“I just… I forget.” Connor breathes shakily, wiping at his eyes.

“You forget what?” Hank asks gently.

“I… It’s hard to explain.” He sighs. “Sometimes it’s just… Overwhelming when I remember that you love me and care about me.”

Hank presses a kiss to Connor’s forehead then leans over to grab him a few tissues. Connor quietly thanks him and blows his nose into one then wipes his eyes with the other.

“I love you, Con.” Hank says gently, his LED rotating at his temple. “And I always will.”

“I know. I love you too.”

“You deserve good things. You deserve to be happy.”

Connor bites down on his trembling lip and swallows hard. He nods his head, choking down a whimper. He presses his face into Hank’s chest. He doesn’t really want to talk right now. He just wants to be close. Hank doesn’t mind, he wraps his arms around Connor and holds him tightly.

Connor hates crying. He hates crying in front of Hank. But, it’s nothing he can stop. One he’s started, it’s hard for him to finish. He reaches a hand out towards the bedside table, sniffling.

“Would you grab me a cigarette?” He asks quietly, not even having to look at Hank to know that he’s rolling his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you guys enjoyed, lmk what you thought in the comments!!!  
> btw, i’ve posted a couple works for the d:bh reverse au now and i was wondering,,,, would you guys want me to post some of my headcanons for it so that way any confusion could be alleviated??? lmk if that’s something you guys would like to see!!!


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